So here I am, avoiding studying for a Geology test and instead creating a blog to write about my procrastinations. Isn't life grand that way? :) I guess let's just get started! Life this semester hasn't been as lovely as I would like it to be...but I can't complain. I'm still alive, have all ten fingers and toes, getting decent grades and living with people I know and love. Yet somehow, I'm still not satisfied.

I really think a lot of it has to do with just being ready to move on with my life. I know I've talked about this on facebook, but I may have a new band of followers here that don't know what I'm going through. Life to me means living for something, and not necessarily going through the steps; ie: graduating high school, then college, getting married, having kids, being successful. Life is so much more than that, yet I can't seem to break past it.

I am ready for my next step. I'm done with this whole college thing, I tried it, liked it, and now I'm ready to move on. But unfortunately my version of life says "not so fast." I need a degree before I can "pass Go and collect $200." In the old days, nearly any degree merely took 4 years to complete. That is, unless you were going to be a doctor. I'm not going to be a doctor, but I may as well be with 5.5 years under my belt by the time I greaduate for a Bachelor's degree. (But I also want to continue on for a Master's in Art Therapy)(more on that later)

Although...I am happy to report, that I am not in so much of a rut as I was merely 3 weeks ago. As much as I want to start my grown-up life, I know that I am no where near financially ready enough for a family or a morgtage. And for those things, it takes....you guessed it. A DEGREE!!! lol In a round about way I guess I set myself straight by thinking of all the things I impatiently wanted and then logically thought, "Am I really capable of obtaning these things? Can I financially afford a child while going to school full time and paying for daycare?"

Yes, to a point. I would be getting what I wanted, but at what cost? I would have to start paying back loans because I would have to more than likely go part time, I would lose my insurance, again because I would be going to school part time. I would be working way more than I could handle because I have to pay for school that my loans wouldn't cover and I would never be able to see the child that I wanted so badly in exchange for my college career. I ended up straightening myself out. I still want that baby, the husband and the house. But I also want to be somewhat independent and someone my non-existant child could be proud of. So...all in all, I am putting one dream in front of my face for two more years - graduate!!!! Once that's done...all bets are off on the other dreams.

So I'm taking life slow, enjoying the ride, as some would say...and trying to relish in the two years I have left at SVSU. I'm thinking of this as the glass is half full. I'm not saying...oh my goodness, I STILL have two more years to go, but wow, I've gone through 3.5 years of college and gained a tremendous amount of knowledge that I would have missed out on and I only have two more years to make a difference to this school.

So, I guess that's all for tonight. Much love and God Bless!!

~Tiff marie